A cup of cold water.

Before I lose my train of thought, I'm going to jump right into what I want to share.
The details on how I've been, how the job is going and whats new in life may not make it on this blog.
(Picture blog IS coming. Really. Eventually... hopefully.)

I worked about 45 minutes extra today. Everyone was gone. Most of the building was dark as those who left the building turned off the lights, closed the doors and locked up behind them. I could hear someone moving around in an office down the hall from me, so I knew I wasn't completely alone, yet. After finishing up some phone calls, I noticed a mileage log we keep for the company van was left by my desk. "I should take this to the van before I leave." Clearing my desk off, I jump out of my chair and headed to the break room. After making sure all lights/appliances were turned off, I took a different door out to the back parking lot where the van was last parked. As I turned the corner towards the long hallway leading to the exit, I noticed the only light visible was the natural light coming in from the glass door. My eyes immediately spotted a man bending down right outside the door. Half way down the dark hallway, I froze in my footsteps when I realized who he was and what he was doing.

Homeless. Clearly, he was homeless. Other than the clothes and shoes he had on, he had nothing else with him but the ball cap on his head and the shirt he had in his hands. Bent down near the water faucet outside the building, I realized the man was washing the shirt.

Frozen, I didn't continue on my journey to the parked van that was probably 100 feet away from him. I didn't continue on outside to assist him in any way possible. I didn't run and hide in my office. I didn't turn around and choose to take a different exit to the parking lot. Frozen I remained.

My mind was frozen too. My heart wasn't. As a matter a fact, it felt like my heart was the only thing still working. I could feel my heart beat faster and faster. My mind caught up right after as possible answers to the typical question we all ask ourselves when we see a homeless person flashed in my mind like a huge neon sign. "What should I do?" 
"Pray?"/"Talk to him?"/"Do I have cash on me?"/"Is there food in the break room?"/"Is there clothes anywhere?"/"Should I give him soap?"/"Cold water?"

I was remind of the how hot it must be outside as he stood up from the faucet and exchanged the shirt he was wearing for the wet one. "Wearing that wet button up shirt must be refreshing", I thought to myself, as I watched him, once again, bend down and begin washing his second shirt.
I asked God, once again, "What do I do?".
I heard: Cold water.

"And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded." Matthew 10:42 

I was reminded of the cold water bottles we had stocked in the next building. Just as fast as I froze in my footsteps, I took off for the next building. Although I lost sight of the homeless man, I knew he would stay occupied washing his shirt for the next few minutes. I get into the next building and grab 2 cold water bottles. Still not knowing what I would say or do after handing the man the 2 bottles of cold water, I quickly unlock the door closest to the water faucet where my eyes had last witnessed the man. I pushed the door open to find a huge puddle of water and a closed faucet.

I was too late. He was gone. My heart sank. Further down than it had when my eyes first spotted the man. Tears came to my eyes. The many questions and concerns followed.

Why did I just freeze there in the middle of the hallway for so long? I've seen homeless people before.
Why wasn't I quick to act? I should have first spoken to him then gotten what he needed for him.
Where did he go? Surely he couldn't have gone far.
God, why didn't you give me at least 1 more minute to spare? I should have ran faster.
I had so much more to offer than cold water, yet frozen I stood for what seemed like 10 minutes, but in reality was probably only 3. Still, the tears ran down my eyes. My heart broken for the homeless man that was now walking down a street somewhere with a wet shirt on his back and one in his hand.

I ran around the building. I didn't want this to be the ending to the story. I looked down the alley between our two buildings, glanced around the surrounding parking lots, hoping I'd spot him at a distance. I was determined to act now, but there was no one in sight. With a heavy heart and tears in my eyes I walked back inside, got my stuff from the office and walked to my car. The whole ride home I played the event over and over in my head.

Guys (and gals), I don't know why I froze. I'm not even sure why I'm sharing all of this. I also don't know why this caused the reaction in me that it did. I see and help clients with a low income daily at work. For some reason this one man and this one incident really shook me.

I heard God tell me, rivers of living water. Not only can we offer a glass (or bottle) of cold water but we, as believers have the LIVING water to give out that no man would ever thirst again.

"But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14.

I also was reminded of the selfishness we walk in sometimes. As I got home -an air conditioned shelter, stocked with food and water - I couldn't help but ask for forgiveness of my "I want more" "I need new" "I gotta have" attitude.

A missed opportunity... maybe. But a lesson learned... definitely. I am praying that as scales continue to fall from my eyes, that God would continue giving me HIS heart for people (even if it means crying over every homeless person I see from now on) and continuous opportunities to demonstrate that love through either an encouraging word, a faith filled prayer or maybe, simply a cup of cold water.

Ask God to give you His heart for those around you, homeless or not. Make the most out of every opportunity. Don't hesitate. Give. Serve.

Love.

Crystal Lee.